Fry's Electronics Employment Application

Fry's Electronics Employment Application
We understand that Fry's is hiring. In an attempt to breed goodwill toward our corporate account, we have taken the time to redo their employment application to help improve the quality of their applicants.

Please apply early and often!


Name:    

Address: 

City:    

Phone:   +011 

Education: 

IQ:

Position:

Cashiering positions

English is your

Second

Third

Fourth
language

You are at a register and the customer's total is $6.31. The customer hands you a $10.00 bill. You should

Have the customer wait while you call the Federal Reserve to make sure the bill is good

Shout, "Check approval please!"

Mumble "Customer service..." and stare vacantly into space while waiting for your supervisor

All of the above

A customer picks up a can of soda but decides he doesn't want it while at the register. You

Call Sunnyvale to doublecheck his resale number

Call Pepsi to check the expiration date on the soda

Refuse to return it because he doesn't have a receipt

All of the above

Computer or software sales

A customer approaches you on the floor and asks how much memory you need to run Windows 95. You

Pretend you don't hear them and walk briskly into the next aisle

Say, "Can't you see I'm helping another customer?!", and run off to the backroom to smoke a cigarette

Continue to stare blankly into space

Blurt out the first number that comes into your head

You pick up the ringing phone, expecting to hear your girlfriend and/or mother. A customer(!) asks if you have Photoshop 3.05 for Windows in stock. You

Blurt "Certainly!" in a loud voice, while checking your teeth in the reflection from your suitcoat and trying to remember if you hid the last copy well enough

Snarl "Not my department!" into the receiver and slam down the phone

Play a game with the other clerks- see who can get a caller to hold the longest by offering to "Check the Fremont store."

Explain how you're really a software developer, and that your Visual Basic version 'Fotoshop' is really far superior and only slightly more expensive

Audio/Visual sales

A kindly older gentleman asks to purchase the 13" TV that was advertised in the morning paper for $99, a gift for his granddaughter's college dorm room. You

Tell him that, darn it, you've just sold the last one. However, the top-quality 'SUNY'-brand TV right next to it is only $225! When he points out the stack of sale TVs next to the display, tell him they're empty boxes. If he picks one up to see, run

Scoff at his selection. Explain that all the kids nowadays would be humiliated by anything less than a 32" Mitsubishi with Stereo Surround- only $3200!

Tell him Sunnyvale has some, and they'll hold one. Then call Sunnyvale and tell them to send him to Campbell. Repeat.

Invite him out to your car, where there's an 'Open Box Buy'

You're working the AV room today. Customers come in to see the Home Theater equipment. You

Diddle nonchalantly with the equipment, and tell people you have the same $1400 Carver amp at home. Only your Mom knows you buy only Realistic from Radio Shack

Insist repeatedly that the Technics speakers are really the same as the Infinity Crescendos, just without the expensive nameplate

Fantasize idly of your dream job at Circuit City. Someday, someday

Put Top Gun into the VCR and turn the volume up so loud that you're instantly sterile

Employment Experience:
Have you been fired by Radio Shack or any subsidiary of the Tandy Corporation in the last three years?
Yes No

Have you been involved in retailing in the USSR, North Korea, Thailand, or any of the former Soviet satellites?
Yes No

Are you 'computer literate'*?
Yes No

Can you:: Program your VCR?; Yes; No; Use an ATM?; Yes; No; Use a remote channel changer?; Yes; No; Flush a toilet without assistance?; Yes; No *NOTE: If answer to any of the above is yes, please answer YES.

Expected salary:
$4.85/hr $5.00/hr $5.15/hr $6.00/hr*

			    *Your Masters is in

Previous Employment:

For how long?

Thanks for applying to Fry's Electronics. We're certain you'll be robbing us blind in no time!

Note: This page was lifted from elsewhere on the Web. To visit the Original Site, try the links below.)

Email Scott (if you liked it) and Jim (if you want to sue).